Maternal Instinct...

confuses the ever loving crap out of me. Is there really this magical instinct that kicks in whenever someone in possession of a uterus encounters an infant? If so, mine was broken long ago. After the birth of the nerd, I felt no real desire to cuddle and coo over her. All I wanted was a good nap and a drink. The first few times someone called me mommy made the idea of throwing something float through my overly drugged mind. I couldn't figure out who they were talking to and frankly, I wasn't in a good head space to be listening to overly cheerful medical personnel talk to me like that.

I still don't really like other people's children right off the bat. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but overall? Children are annoying, tweens are obnoxious and teenagers should be locked in a trunk until they are old enough to get a job and move out. Conversely, I am frequently told that children love me. Possibly because I treat them like they have a brain and expect them to function as such. My decision to go into teaching is generally looked at funnily, and I can see why. I think I'll be the kind of teacher that students like and slackers despise and, you know, I'm OK with that. I want to be the kind of teacher that makes kids feel like they *should* do their best rather than just the bare minimum to get by.

After a few years of the joys of parenting, I kind of get the whole "toughest job you'll ever love" pap, but the expectation that there is some kind of magical knowledge of how to be good at interacting with smelly, drooly, poorly coordinated little humans that automatically comes with being a woman as surely as cramps and bloating makes me scoff just a *wee* bit.

The trials of trash cans

When we relocated from Beatrice to Auburn, we lost our trashcan (the curbside one). The day we moved was the day before trash day so once the house was empty, we cleaned everything and set the trash out for pick up. Hubs had planned to go back the next morning to pick up the lawn mower and grill, so we thought we would just pick up the trash can at the same time. The next morning, he returned. No trash can though. Sigh. A pain in the rear, but not the end of the world. So we started looking for a new one. No problem you might be thinking. Yeah... Not so much.

The first week, I looked when we went to Wal*Mart. Sold out. Not a single trash can to be had. Whatever, I'll try again next time. So, a few weeks later when I go back, I look again, thinking that surely there must be trash cans now. Nope, still sold out, or possibly sold out again. Either way, still without a fricking trash can. So I decide to check locally. Orchelen? Nope. Pamida? Nope. Lynnes? Nope. Orchelen in Tecumseh? Nope. Either everyone in the entire southeastern corner of Nebraska needed a new trash can at the exact same time, or I just have really crap luck. We're still on the hunt for trash cans. If you know where any are hiding, feel free to share, since otherwise, we'll just have to redneck it.

On the needles, the heartstrings scarf is making really slow progress and the sock yarn blanket got a few new squares. I'm also starting a mini Dr. Who for the nerd's 4th Dr. costume for Halloween.

It's 3:04

am. WTF am I doing up? Well, mainly putting off all the boring tedious crap I have to do tomorrow. I'm supposed to go to the Reservation with Hubs but I don't want to. At. All. Then after that, the house needs to be cleaned before my grammy gets here. And somewhere in all of that I need to drive an hour away to deposit a check so we can pay our rent. Suckage. I give up.

Selling a kidney

Sounds like a more appealing option every day. I got my book list and it's looking like I'll be using 1K of books this semester. That's right. Those are the books I'll need for ONE semester. FML. I have also struck out looking for daycare for the nerd. All the ones here in town are full up and the one on campus only take kids while there parents are in class. I need care full time M-Th so I have time to get shit done without her underfoot.

I completely rearranged both the living room and dining room this weekend. I blame it entirely on the boredom. I also read more slash than is probably healthy. There are some really good novels out there and just as many that make me want to punch babies (I in no way condone hitting a child, it's just a saying). The Apple Tree by Philo is one of the better ones I've read lately. Fate is a Four Letter Word by Philo is an awesome WIP with fairly regular updates, as is Princes in Exile by LiteraryBeauty. There are a ton more, but those are the ones that spring to mind.

On the needles: A Heartstrings scarf in Orange Sherbet. I also just finished a stripey shrug I made with some scrap brown sheep I had left over from the holidays.

Whoa!

Some how I managed to forget that I even had a blog in the first place. I suppose that I should probably update a bit since it has been an entire year since I did any real blogging. Beatrice came and went, I finished my associate's degree and got accepted to Peru State College. This fall I'll be taking 18 semester hours and hopefully working a part time job. Realistically, I'll probably be lucky to have the time and energy for school and the nerd. Oh well, isn't that kind of the point of financial aid? To cover the things you have to have to survive, like rent and daycare?

The nerd is doing amazingly well. She finished her first year of Pre-K and the differences in her speech patterns are stunning. Hubs got himself promoted and will be going up for another promotion in a few months.

I've been busily unpacking and settling in to the new house. It's twice as big as our last place (which was a ridiculously tiny 513 Sq Ft) and yet I still can't figure out where to put all of our stuff. Admittedly, there are several boxes that should have been "lost" in the move but ended up coming with us anyway. Sigh. Really, who needs three boxes of china tea cups? We don't even drink tea out of tea cups. But god forbid we get rid of the silly things since they were "heirlooms" that sat on his grandmothers china cabinet shelves and were never used in the fifty years she owned them. So now I have the dubious pleasure of trying to find a place for them. Maybe the nerd can help me with that? Hmm. Too devious?

Blerg. Alternately, I still need to get my book list and buy my text books. I'm thinking Chegg.com. When I'm done with that, I need to find a daycare too. And that is, as they say, that.

Oh the times, they are a changing

So much has happened since my last entry. Hubs got the job and we are now living in the beautiful town of Beatrice. That's right folks, we live in Nebraska! It's awesome. The town is super cute and the people here are unbelievably friendly. There is a local farmers market, and we go get fresh locally grown veggies every week. That is usually where we get our bread too. I don't know what I'm going to do when the market closes in the fall. I'm all set up at the local college and have decided to take on campus classes this quarter. So, I've signed up for four: Botany, Comparative Religions, Speech, and Beginning Acting. Only three and a half more weeks until school starts. Woo! I can't wait.

The Nerd is going to be entering daycare for the first time, and while I really think it will be good for her to socialize with kids her own age, I'm ridiculously nervous about it. She also has an appointment to have a few tests run since her speech is nowhere near what it should be. I hope they can help her, because as her vocabulary is growing, I see more and more how much she struggles to be understood. It sucks because I don't know how to help her. But, it will all work out for the best.

Hubs is getting into the swing of his new job, but they have him working graveyard for a while and he isn't enjoying that as much. Hopefully he'll be able to switch in a few months.

On the crafty side, Christmas knitting has commenced and i already feel behind. On the needles right now, a pair of socks for my grammy, since she inspired me to try sock knitting, and a cowl for my sister.

Grading on a curve

I kept my 4.0 this semester which shocked the heck out of me since two of the four classes I took were mistakes. Never take a computer course online. A) it's kind of redundant, and B) if you get stuck, you're kind of SOL because the only way to get any help is on the... computer. Yeah. So that's done with now, and I feel kind of guilty saying it, but I totally mopped the floor with MFL. She's been such a beyotch about the whole "my uterus is better than your uterus" thing, that being able to totally decimate her at school was a vicious little thrill. Not that I would ever admit it out loud, but when she told me her grades all I could think was "my brain is better than your brain, so THERE!"

Aside from that, I got my color swap package shipped out and it made it to Canada in record time. It was a huge sucess and I have the comfort of knowing that I have concluded my end of the swap sucessfully.

We're still waiting to hear about the job, and at this point, I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever get all the roadblocks out of the way. First, we drove 700 miles to interview and test, only to be told that hubs liscence was suspended, so no interview for us. We get that straightened out (unpaid fines anyone?) and then they tell us that they can't find the aplication, so we resubmit a new one, then today, they call because they need a current number for one of hubs former supervisors. I call the company, since hubs is working til after they close, and they don't know where he is, so when he got home, he had to call some friends and track this guy down, only to find out that the former supervisor is back in prison. Yay him! So tomorrow, I will have to call them back and let them know that he is currently unavailable and refer them to payroll at the company for verification. It's starting to piss me off. If it weren't for the fact that we want out of here so badly, I'd say fuckit, but anything is better than here, even if it means jumping through a hoop or ten.

Plus, to top all that off, next month my baby turns three and I recently found out that my 9 year old niece has entered puberty. She is growing boobies. It freaks me out a little bit. All these kids around me are getting so big so fast, and I don't know that I'm ready for it. I guess I don't really have a choice, but still... it's all happening too fast.